I’m not British and I don’t claim to be some editorial expert but if there are two things I learned from watching their sports coverage for a decent number of years is that there’s a lot of mud in Silverstone and that the Daily Mail hates journalism. Before you say I’m not qualified to make that sort of judgment, I should mention we have our own local version of the notorious paper to serve as case study. It’s loosely translated to “Freedom” and quite accurately so since it takes the concept of freedom of the press to new dizzying heights.
You may have noticed a few gossipy F1 headlines lately but for such a comprehensive publication they do seem to often overlook the sporting merits of our beloved F1 paddock. As such, I have decided to lend a helping hand to their sports section and prepare a few custom headlines to increase their already substantial audience with a few extra motorsport enthusiasts. I’m also hoping it will draw the permanently-revolted-about-something audience away from Twitter and onto their comments section.
Because I was (un)lucky enough to miss the severe journalistic training their editors must go through, I just borrowed a few of their catchy titles and made some tiny modifications. Keep in mind that those are actual Daily Mail headlines; I just changed the names, locations and other appropriate nouns. So this is what you should expect from everybody’s favourite F1 tabloid – coming soon to a garbage bin near you!
£500 fine and a race ban for driving in puddle and splashing family of beavers: Even marshal who was soaked is shocked by penalty
He used to be so handsome! Nico Rosberg looks scruffy and far from cut as he hangs out in his boxers at volleyball event
Is this bombshell girlfriend trying to poison her famous partner with rival drink?!
Obese driver shamed into losing 5kg and dropping ONE dress size to get a job!
X Factor judge can’t stop twirling hair at podium ceremony. Show a little respect!
True confessions: F1 champ admits he used to dunk his bread into his soda and that he also has ‘a nine-inch penis’
What’s in your bag Ma’am? Apart from the chocolate, the plasters and the scotch: Secrets of a WAG’s handbag
Don’t be a flip flop: are your feet fit for summer? Time to treat your tootsies
Driver gets shock of his life when he buys two toy bulldogs for $1500 only to be told by a vet that they are actually GIANT RODENTS pumped up with steroids to look like dogs
This flood of porn should terrify us all!
That doesn’t taste too good! Former driver makes a face after taking a sip of a healthy juice drink
Food watchdog warning over ice-cream brand containing ‘Brainfreeze-causing fungus’
Would you let your son do THIS to his body? LIZ JONES (who says her own horse inking is ‘tasteful’) fears Jenson Button’s full button tattoo will encourage copycats
Perverted cameraman who ‘filmed up the racesuits of 100 drivers’ banned from owning camera
Max Chilton has a grooming fail as he wears too much powder and overdoses hair product during press conference in Bahrain
What a silly bollard! Driver has to be freed by marshals after getting nose stuck
Do you suffer from regular headache? Do you own a lot of large sunglasses? Then you might have ‘Raikkonitis’: Doctors blame Kimi Raikkonen for list of ailments
Stopped in their tracks: A dramatic moment came as Paul looked both ways as they got ready to cross the track
Is the bum slip the new side boob? Mark Webber, Nico Rosberg and now Daniel Ricciardo are all fans of a cheeky bottom flash
Morphing into each other! Mclaren’s Jenson Button and Kevin Magnussen leave paddock wearing nearly identical white shirts
This is it for the first issue of our brief online magazine. I hope you enjoyed the read and if you want more… I don’t plan to do a second one, because I simply doubt I can take another look at their website. And I advise you not to try that at home!