Frankly this post has been pending since before the summer break, when all the talk was about the various degrees of friendship between the Mercedes pair. But meanwhile the Wacky Races theme really got into its own when the controversial (as Bernie likes it) radio ban came into being. I can sort of see both sides of the story; maybe an unfair disadvantage for the rookies but if the bike kids can handle it then two extra wheels shouldn’t cause that many problems for (arguably) the best drivers in the word.
So, for a fair (in a very fantastically subjective way) review of the season, here’s 2014’s wacky racers:
Top of the charts is our Backstreet Boys lookalike, represented here as the perfect specimen to represent its quintessentially German team: fast, intelligent, well-versed in diplomacy and looks good on posters. Much like the original Turbo Terrific, I expect his car to be able to sprout an additional four rear wheels in emergency situations, for a bit of extra speed.
And playing the arch enemy…well, I tried to “Brangelina” his name but neither Lewis Dastardly nor Dick Hamilton seemed to have a nice ring (although slightly accurate on some occasions). Regardless of the name, give the guy a dog and a reason to hold a grudge and you’re sorted in terms of dramatic-but-ultimately-eye-rolling therapy sessions on Sky.
Hot on their trails on most occasions is the Convert-a-Car of Monsieur Bottas, who just gets on with it and works the car in whatever conditions he’s in. In typically Finnish style, that’s about as long as this explanation goes (but because I’m not Finnish I actually had to write that down).
Now, completely disregarding Ferrari, as I usually do (not you Kimi, I still love you), I got a bit distracted from the Wacky thing and into a more musical yodelling theme. And since Julie Andrews wasn’t available on such a short notice, Dan Ricciardo had to pick up the feature role in this Austrian drama disguised into a leisurely Sunday skit. No pressure guys, but this car better not end up like Chitty Chitty Bang Bang.
Lower down the ranks, Eric is doing an increasingly decent job in stirring the McLaren boat. But at the moment this car is about as far from a race winner as Fred Flintstone’s car is from a McLaren P1.
Last but not least (at least they’re not last actually), Lotus have a real Mystery Machine on their hands. But instead of solving crime, it keeps crashing on its way to the scene. Now frankly there’s once specific culprit for that – making his mechanics potentially the best trained speediest dudes at putting together LEGO sets.
But beyond that, I promise to be less lazy now that the holiday (and post-holiday blues) are done. Happy Singapore GP everyone!