Welcome to our virtual shopping cart! For those of you who drop by ever now and again, you will know my disappointment with racing merchandise, especially ladies’ collections (I’m being generous calling it “collection” when at best it’s a saggy tank top). So I decided to get practical – but not too much – and make my own, with designs hopefully more attuned to my fellow fans’ needs. It’s all for fun, at least until someone feels an agonizing need to have Santi’s beard on their chest. Scroll down and you’ll see it’s not as dubious as it sounds.
I’ll keep adding stuff when I’m in the mood and suggestions are welcome here or on Twitter. So, which following fanclub do you want to support?
1. A T-shirt for the lady fan who wants a patronizing vendetta to the “Paddock Girls Fan Tshirt” that, sadly, actually exists. Although, we all honestly enjoy a good on-board.
2. A special top for all fans of the beloved jingle that used to get butterflies flying before the start of a race. The new jingle is cool too, but if you’re feeling nostalgic, this one’s for you!
3. A T-shirt for a niche following. Casual fans will ask what the hell you’re on about, but connoisseurs and fellow long-sufferers of the curse of 2015 will share a knowing nod. Good first date test too!
4. A personal favourite, the Not-another-paddock-girl T-shirt celebrates the grand tradition of mechanics protecting their rider’s precious head.
5. Depending of course on your allegiances, or your fetish for excessive facial hair, enjoy this MM93 Special dedicated to everyone’s favourite arithmetically-challenged engineer.
6. Celebrating a piece of sublime beauty. Like a unicorn, except it’s real. (📷Andrew Gosling)
7. Remembering the oh-so-popular phrase last shared by Dovi, Dani and Marc in Argentina 2016, this T-shirt serves as a reminder that bravery won’t always get you the headlines you want.
8. It’s not pink. It’s ironic.
9. Vale’s new favourite phrase, be it in relation to unpleasant soundbites or his teammate’s contract. Less likely to catch on as much as the original hashtag, but definitely cheaper.
10. Another Valentino-themed item, with a highly confusing sound he seems to share with the rest of the Italian grid. If you don’t get it, you’re not watching enough press conferences.
11. An MM93 Special dedicated to his MX/DTX passion and the YouTube channel that accompanies it. And a Beyonce reference sneaked in too.
12. This whole “People’s Champion” thing deserved its own t-shirt. It’s like comparing the Oscars to the People’s Choice awards: you can choose your own favourite, but its Tarantino’s choice that matters in the end.
13. On to some props. Starting with a utensil that’s both useful and the stuff of nightmares for rival fanclubs. The JAJA megaphone, that blasts a loud Marquez trademark laugh at the press of a button. An entire grandstand full of that would drown out even the sound of the bikes.
14. When the market spends months asking for it, you have to give it to them. And VR46 fans have spend plenty expressing themselves in similar fashion, so I invented the prop for the fan that has it all. Meet “Boo”, the aptly named plush toy that lets you express in real life all the derogatives you use on Instagram.
15. Need a place to rest your new Skull Rider sunglasses? Look no more, this branded shark plush has room for at least 3 pairs of glasses on its fins. Plus, it’s adorable.
[to be continued…]
Have any suggestions?